this is the 2nd time in the past 4 nights that i've gone to bed at 9am or later. i love it and hate it at the same time. i find a certain exhilaration in being awake during the still of the night. like i have the place to myself. the downside is that you feel a certain disconnect from the majority of human beings around you. in small stretches like this i enjoy it and to some extent perform better.
doing it for extended periods of time definitely wears on you.
for now i will enjoy falling asleep to the roar of one of oakville's busiest intersections.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
i wake up to the sound of music, mother mary comes to me
the other night i'm given a book to read by a friend. it's translated from japanese. as i get to the end of the first page i read the following paragraph (describing toyko):
'midnight is approaching, and while the peak of activity has passed, the basal metabolism that maintains life continues undiminished, producing the basso continuo of the ctiy's moan, a monotonous sound that neither rises nor falls but is pregnant with foreboding.'
clearly this japanese author is after my heart. you can't just drop a basso continuo bomb on me and not expect me to fall in love with you. i mean come on. as a music geek nothing woos me more then obscure references to anything music related. it doesn't get much better then basso continuo. on the first page.
the term is so old that my spell check doesn't recognize the word and tells me i'm spelling it wrong. for those non music geeks (read: everyone but me), basso contiuo was a prominent element of baroque music. back then instead of having the bass lines fully notated what composers did was to write out just the roots of the chords and the chord changes. the player with the basso continuo part would then improvise the rest. think of a baroque equivalent of a walking bass line in jazz music. that's basso continuo. this was played on different instruments depending on what the music called for. sometimes it was an upright bass, sometimes a harpsichord (this is before pianos mind you) and sometimes other period instruments like the vasca da gamba, which i think sorta looks like a cello. i just like saying, er, typing that. vasca da gamba. one of my music history profs was an expert on old baroque instruments so that's why i remember that.
basso continuo very much had the function of the being the lifeblood of the music. look at the term itself: continuous bass. that says it all. so basically this author has totally nailed the reference. it's marvelous. i have barely cracked the surface of this novel but this is a fantastic sign of things to come i predict.
'midnight is approaching, and while the peak of activity has passed, the basal metabolism that maintains life continues undiminished, producing the basso continuo of the ctiy's moan, a monotonous sound that neither rises nor falls but is pregnant with foreboding.'
clearly this japanese author is after my heart. you can't just drop a basso continuo bomb on me and not expect me to fall in love with you. i mean come on. as a music geek nothing woos me more then obscure references to anything music related. it doesn't get much better then basso continuo. on the first page.
the term is so old that my spell check doesn't recognize the word and tells me i'm spelling it wrong. for those non music geeks (read: everyone but me), basso contiuo was a prominent element of baroque music. back then instead of having the bass lines fully notated what composers did was to write out just the roots of the chords and the chord changes. the player with the basso continuo part would then improvise the rest. think of a baroque equivalent of a walking bass line in jazz music. that's basso continuo. this was played on different instruments depending on what the music called for. sometimes it was an upright bass, sometimes a harpsichord (this is before pianos mind you) and sometimes other period instruments like the vasca da gamba, which i think sorta looks like a cello. i just like saying, er, typing that. vasca da gamba. one of my music history profs was an expert on old baroque instruments so that's why i remember that.
basso continuo very much had the function of the being the lifeblood of the music. look at the term itself: continuous bass. that says it all. so basically this author has totally nailed the reference. it's marvelous. i have barely cracked the surface of this novel but this is a fantastic sign of things to come i predict.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
because i'm feeling unoriginal and derivative
and song lyrics always seem to explain things better than i ever could.
summer time and the wind is blowing outside in lower chelsea
and i don't know what i'm doing in this city,
the sun is always in my eyes,
it crashes through the windows, and i'm sleeping on the couch,
when i came to visit you,
that's when i knew, that i could never have you,
i knew that before you did,
still i'm the one who's stupid
and there's this burning, like there's always been,
i've never been so alone, and i've never been so alive.
visions of you on a motorcycle drive by,
the cigarette ash flies in your eyes, and you don't mind, you smile,
and say the world it doesn't fit with you
i don't believe you, you're so serene.
careening through the universe, your axis on a tilt, you're guiltless and free,
i hope you take a piece of me with you,
and there's things i'd like to do that you don't believe in,
i would like to build something, but you'll never see it happen
and there's this burning, like there's always been,
i've never been so alone, and i've, i've never been so alive.
And there's this burning, ah ha, there is this burning.
where's the soul i want to know, new york city is evil
the surface is everything, but i could never do that,
someone would see through that.
and this is the last time, we''ll be friends again.
and i'll get over you, you'll wonder, who i am.
and there's this burning, just like there's always been,
i've never been so alone, alone, and i've, and i've, i've never been so alive, so alive.
i go home to the coast it starts to rain, i paddle out on the water alone,
taste the salt and taste the pain. i'm not thinking of you again,
summer dies and swells rise, the sun goes down in my eyes, see this rolling wave, darkly coming to take me, home.
and i've never been so alone, and i've never been so alive.
summer time and the wind is blowing outside in lower chelsea
and i don't know what i'm doing in this city,
the sun is always in my eyes,
it crashes through the windows, and i'm sleeping on the couch,
when i came to visit you,
that's when i knew, that i could never have you,
i knew that before you did,
still i'm the one who's stupid
and there's this burning, like there's always been,
i've never been so alone, and i've never been so alive.
visions of you on a motorcycle drive by,
the cigarette ash flies in your eyes, and you don't mind, you smile,
and say the world it doesn't fit with you
i don't believe you, you're so serene.
careening through the universe, your axis on a tilt, you're guiltless and free,
i hope you take a piece of me with you,
and there's things i'd like to do that you don't believe in,
i would like to build something, but you'll never see it happen
and there's this burning, like there's always been,
i've never been so alone, and i've, i've never been so alive.
And there's this burning, ah ha, there is this burning.
where's the soul i want to know, new york city is evil
the surface is everything, but i could never do that,
someone would see through that.
and this is the last time, we''ll be friends again.
and i'll get over you, you'll wonder, who i am.
and there's this burning, just like there's always been,
i've never been so alone, alone, and i've, and i've, i've never been so alive, so alive.
i go home to the coast it starts to rain, i paddle out on the water alone,
taste the salt and taste the pain. i'm not thinking of you again,
summer dies and swells rise, the sun goes down in my eyes, see this rolling wave, darkly coming to take me, home.
and i've never been so alone, and i've never been so alive.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
remember remember
today is guy fawkes day. the last two years i spent this evening in a medieval sussex village named lewes. it maintains a tradition hundreds of years old whereby on this 5th of november they march down the streets (the village sits in a valley, surrounded by chalk cliffs) carrying torches, effigies of the pope and any other unpopular historical figures (i saw condeleeza rice and bush burned), and 17 crosses for the 17 protestant martyrs that were killed around the same time as guy fawkes. it's topped off by upwards of 4 of the most amazing fireworks displays you've ever seen in your life. they literally spend all year planning for this night.
there is no proper way to explain what this experience is like. it's absolutely unreal. truly one of the most amazing and memorable events of my life x2. they pretty much come close to burning the down the town. it's controlled chaos.
last year we went to lewes the day before bonfire night and filmed it. then filmed on bonfire night. we really need to have a look through that cause i think it'll look good and hopefully offer a glimpse into this unique tradition.
the video below is not the filming that i'm referring to. that's just some shit we took on my digital camera. the stuff from last year will look a million times better.
video of us at bonfire night 2006
lewes - wiki
bonfire night info
there is no proper way to explain what this experience is like. it's absolutely unreal. truly one of the most amazing and memorable events of my life x2. they pretty much come close to burning the down the town. it's controlled chaos.
last year we went to lewes the day before bonfire night and filmed it. then filmed on bonfire night. we really need to have a look through that cause i think it'll look good and hopefully offer a glimpse into this unique tradition.
the video below is not the filming that i'm referring to. that's just some shit we took on my digital camera. the stuff from last year will look a million times better.
video of us at bonfire night 2006
lewes - wiki
bonfire night info
Monday, November 3, 2008
where's my burrito, where's my burrito
what a night it's been. i've never felt such palpable excitement from so far away as i did tonight watching the hundreds of thousands of people in chicago. not to mention the thousands lining times square. it was truly something to behold.
another one of history's conundrums has revealed itself. it took having a bush to get an obama. looking back i think we will see just how inevitable it was that obama was the next president after bush. funny thing, that.
of course there is the age old question: does the great man make history or does history make the great man? dammit, that's probably not exactly how it goes. anyways, it just really stands out to me how it had to be this time for obama. as is usually the consensus, it is some combination of great timing combined with a penchant for greatness that produces a historical figure such as barrack obama.
i wish i could find it but i wrote a blog entry in 2005 where i hoped, if not predicted, obama would be president in 2008. it was on another site and i can't dig it up which sucks cause i have no way to verify this. i remember hearing his speech at the 2004 democratic convention and been pretty much blown away. he used to realize podcasts every couple weeks where he would just talk about why he voted a certain way on a bill, or about certain processes that went on in the senate. i was very refreshed by his thoughtfullness then and i am very excited about his leadership potential now.
i'm glad to be alive now and to have a clear recollection of what it was like when the first black president was elected.
another one of history's conundrums has revealed itself. it took having a bush to get an obama. looking back i think we will see just how inevitable it was that obama was the next president after bush. funny thing, that.
of course there is the age old question: does the great man make history or does history make the great man? dammit, that's probably not exactly how it goes. anyways, it just really stands out to me how it had to be this time for obama. as is usually the consensus, it is some combination of great timing combined with a penchant for greatness that produces a historical figure such as barrack obama.
i wish i could find it but i wrote a blog entry in 2005 where i hoped, if not predicted, obama would be president in 2008. it was on another site and i can't dig it up which sucks cause i have no way to verify this. i remember hearing his speech at the 2004 democratic convention and been pretty much blown away. he used to realize podcasts every couple weeks where he would just talk about why he voted a certain way on a bill, or about certain processes that went on in the senate. i was very refreshed by his thoughtfullness then and i am very excited about his leadership potential now.
i'm glad to be alive now and to have a clear recollection of what it was like when the first black president was elected.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
a perfect day. zero bears and one big fat hairy paycheck.
i am a creation of my own silence. of my own inability to externalize what i'm feeling. as a result (<--said in a british accent) i bombard myself with thoughts and think myself into trouble. it's a massive wheel and the hamster is on steroids. it's like a frickin country bear jambaroo around here.
i've at least traced the roots of this behaviour. my brother was loud and boisterous and commanded attention so i adapted to a role on the sidelines. over simplifications aside, it seems to have steadily gotten worse. it's made me passive to the point of being weak. it's made me selfless to the point where i get taken advantage of. it's made me altruistic at the expense of my emotional stability.
it's stoicism gone horribly awry. my life isn't shakespeare. more often then not there is no need to be so willfully calculating and project the kind of emotional frigidity that i do. that's some bullshit. if i were president then sure.
recognition is definitely an important first step but there's a long way to go to break this pattern.
i've at least traced the roots of this behaviour. my brother was loud and boisterous and commanded attention so i adapted to a role on the sidelines. over simplifications aside, it seems to have steadily gotten worse. it's made me passive to the point of being weak. it's made me selfless to the point where i get taken advantage of. it's made me altruistic at the expense of my emotional stability.
it's stoicism gone horribly awry. my life isn't shakespeare. more often then not there is no need to be so willfully calculating and project the kind of emotional frigidity that i do. that's some bullshit. if i were president then sure.
recognition is definitely an important first step but there's a long way to go to break this pattern.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
here's johnny!
i'm constrained by the inherent contradictions of my position. what i want most comes at the highest price. it's a violently vicious cycle. naturally what it produces is stasis. in that it keeps me in one place, hovering back and forth like a pendulum. i don't like it, i've never liked it. though that has never mattered.
as soon as there is a surplus of other the demand on my attention will diminish. i will yield fewer thoughts and consequentially will be able to better safeguard the ones that do emerge. i am as resolute as i've ever been about anything. determined to turn a circle into a straight line, a continuim.
as soon as there is a surplus of other the demand on my attention will diminish. i will yield fewer thoughts and consequentially will be able to better safeguard the ones that do emerge. i am as resolute as i've ever been about anything. determined to turn a circle into a straight line, a continuim.
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