philly cheesesteaks and fist bumps for obama

16 hours of driving + 24 hours in philly later.

as is to be expected the trip was everything i thought it would be. which is to say it was nothing like i thought it would be.

we hit the road at 4:30am saturday morning and arrived at our hotel at around noon. it was pouring rain the whole drive and throughout the whole day. at times it was a torrential downpour. in fact, i won a bet by saying that the game would be played and would be completed.

incidentally we barely saw any of the game. due to the delayed start and our need to catch a train to plymouth meeting (where our hotel was) we caught the first inning in a bar and then the last couple from the hotel room. even still, the vibe was palpable. from the 'go phillies' signs in peoples windows, to the endless sea of maroon jerseys you just get the sense that the city is simmering, waiting to explode. it'll be interesting to watch that's for sure.

what little of the city we did see reminded me of cities in the uk. at least noticeably more than any other north american city i've been to. from the condensed, tenement style apartment buildings i saw from the train to the welsh and british place names i could really notice the colonial influence. which is rare for an american city because usually they to pump you so full of americana it makes you dizzy. it was a nice change of pace in that sense. however that must be contrasted by the 'this is america, speak english when ordering' signs we encountered at the 3rd philly cheesesteak place we ate from.

which brings me to the philly cheesesteak. for 2/5ths of our crew it was the sole reason for going on the trip. for the rest of us 3/5ths it was the most memorable part. only in america. after taking an informal poll of police officers at citizen's bank park (home of the phillies) it was clear that the 3 places we needed to check out were tony lukes, geno's, and pat's. tony lukes was about a 20 minute walk from the ballpark so we hoofed it in the pouring rain. it was not a mistake. it was phenomenal. it was out of this world. that was saturday night. on sunday we drove it to geno's and pat's, which are conveniently right across the street from each other. the general consensus was that pat's was better than geno's but neither could top tony luke's.

in all, it was exactly what i needed and i can't wait for the next foolish adventure to rear its head.

let us be lovers, we'll carry our fortunes together

i'm two and a half hours away from an 8 hour drive to philadelphia. i've been trying to get a couple hours of sleep but that has so far proven fruitless.

a vanload of us is heading down just for the day so we can watch the world series from a bar and catch some of the vibe going on. we're gonna try and catch a hockey game as well.

it seems like i need one of these random adventures every 3-6 months. if only to maintain my sanity. it envigerates me in a way that nothing else can match. i think part of it is the sheer meaninglessness of it all. there isn't any real reason we need to go to philly. but fuck it, we want to go so we're going.

sometimes i feel most alive when i'm doing something that seems crazy and stupid.

i look forward to whatever this trip will endow. bring on the 4am departure.

creativity.

there is nothing that i find more rewarding then creation. for the longest time i thought that it was music. i wasn't wrong, i just wasn't completely right. it's the act of being creative. it so happens that music is my primary vessel but it's bigger then that.

i've started writing and recording music on a more regular basis the last little while. it feels great, even if the music isn't. it's the process. i hadn't actually finished a song in literally years and just to actually get to that point (which i've recently done) makes me wonder why i haven't been working harder at this because it's so enriching.

this goes beyond music for me because one thing i've learned is that the process is nearly ubiquitous whether you're talking about music, film, writing or anything else. for whatever reason music has always made the most sense to me and so that has been how i've been able to most utilize my creativity. but i enjoy going through the exercise just as much when it pertains to writing or working on video, or even just having a cool conversation with someone. i think even daydreaming counts as being creative. i'm creating scenarios; some absurd, some plausible, some even prophetic and then acting them out in my head.

it's making something out of nothing. something you are a part of. something that is a part of you. it's nothing short of exhilarating.

that is what i most look forward to when (hopefully not if) i have children. that rush that i'll get every time i look at my kid, knowing that i helped create this living breathing beautiful creature. i already know it'll be what i'm most proud of. if i have more then one kid they'll have to fight it out for my pride. winner take all.

i am an emotional vaccum cleaner

i will never not invite these situations unless i change.

until i am able to express my emotions in a real and meaningful way i am destined to return to this place. i've lost what i treasure most and i vow never to let that happen again. if i write it on the internet it must be more meaningful...right?

my eyes are open. there is no other option.

even now i'm holding in. fuck.

baby steps?

this is probably a bad idea

just wanted to keep things running here. it's been too long since the 1's and 0's have been refreshed on this blog.

so what better time to update then at 4:36am.

this is the first time i've been home alone in this house. i became instantly aware of the space and it seems so cavernous now that i know there isn't matter there to occupy it. plus it's kinda creaky. the pipes have a tendency to groan. so you never quite feel alone. awesome.

it's not that i haven't had anything to write about, it's that nothing ever coalesced into something i could actually communicate.

hopefully this will get the ball rolling again.

g'night.

foolish acts of altruism

it's amazing how a smile and a wave somehow made it all worth it.

i must like torturing myself.